You all know girls always refused to faced the fact and also  face the reality , even though they know or felt some things are just not right !! ............. True enough , and living in the darkness of their own ..,  Recently had been to parties after one another, receiving news unwanted and unexpectedly... Hearing too much ,  and also seen too much  over the years ........ Too tedious for me to handle ....... Had said , explained and expressed how i really felt..  I need a long break .......................... Had loaded some songs had i will always never get sick hearing it again and again .....Njoy!! 

Hi ..... Was having problems with my laptop 2 days ago..., SOmeone in the house used my laptop and input the wrong passwords... Arrrugh!!  Seriously angry.. seeing everyone so busy with the CNY preparations ... 

Last week was quite a hectic week for me , sleepless night for me .. Getting sick and tired abt everything .. Felt that no matter wad i do is always not good enough .. Should i live a life like this ? recently quite troubled over some matters , My close friends should jolly well know , For a moment i really felt there was hope , another moment , somehow disappear and brought me back to where i was..Was i too sensitive or the other party insensitive enough .. Somehow i was happy on last friday ...,thought just a short period of time but im really happy .... felt like taking a step back .. maybe i should ..  Juz simply afraid wad will happen next .. I can only wait .. if its a game that someone challenge me .... Im missing someone badly ............Super bad , knowing he is alwayz busy at work and stuff... I can only wait ...i will give myself another 2 weeks.. if it dosent work out than i should know how to react.... tonight i din manage to see him but still ....IT hurts ............

Was looking forward so much to meeting derrick goh last night and it din't out to be a fruitful one.... He intro all his co -workers .. Met all the top dealers and brokers !! Was it so complicated to be in this industry..  The meeting took place at Boat quay cyclone !! When i was there , derrick that guy that wanted to into the job to me , was there, with another 2 co-workers .. 15mins lata, another group came like four or five, all brokers . . My hands began to tremble..... Sitting down there making me so uneasy , cos they were all talking about work and i had got no topics to throw in !! Pathetic me!!! .. Not long after they started to play 5-10 ... derrick asked me to try , although i can play but i remained humble and resist, in the end i  said ok, loser will have a sip .. They insist of at least half a glass, wtf? .. I can say they were very good , Im not bad either since all about reading each other's mind !!.

That night at df.. Im emotionally confounded......i use to be like somehow consistent juggling my day time job and night, i used to  be focus !And tonite ,,, went to df with my  friend and his so call co-workers, My friend was a guy...we went in a group like 3 business  women, well dress , well behaved and stuff ,,, Could;nt believe this! ..How it started?  ...LOOK we were all drinking together happy than my friend wants to used the rest room .. while h e went , bloody hell the felmale friends wants my friend to drink a glass of undrinkable glass mixed with their shit ,,, Gross....i saw everything and i switch my glass with my friend while he walk back... True enough, the Beng took the glass and pass it to him ,, knowing he cant drink anymore ... the beng insisted,,,wad was their motive ?...... This people just simply childish....... Just totally pissed and juz less than 5 mins i would challenge them to drink since they want me drink s o much...I bet she wont...In the end i was quite high ...  my friend was worst .. Nid to send him hme to his room and he had to wake up in the morning ..... Just pisses abt this heartless brainless people...Sigh..........cant be bothered..... Popping my sleeping pills .. Gd night.......

Yea! after so long .. went prawning again .. Was super duper happy when i caught those prawns .. Its tuesday , i was expecting an important call, must be patient ..  ..  Anyway im meeting shanna tomolo at bugis at 6.15pm should i go ? Casting for mild seven .. Went to bugis for dinner last night than head home , nothing to do also, boring ! .. Will be waking up early tomorrow to cook.. Heee hee.. ! Curry chicken!! nothing else but curry chicken.. Down with a flu and its so uncomfortable .. I hope tomolo will be a better day for me and everyone !! Cheers...................

Today ... feeling kinda lazy....slept for 10 hours but still, haha.. ! Promise to replace shanna.. ha ! In the end i went to work .. As usual... with demanding customers , drank alot alot.. But at least i know tonite wont be a wasted night for me .. Some little things happen that brighten up my day... Am i still naive or im really ..... .... Truly im waiting for miracles to happen ... How can i convince myself ? i really dont know.. Am truly afraid more than i wanted ... Friends who know me should be able to understand wad shit i had got myself into ... Im  quite tipsy now while bloggging , ...Hopefully there wont be too many typo errors !!  Tomorrow will be a better day i hope...  After all the unhappiness .. i guess i should moved on with my life.. Overall....Im Super happy ................Nite.......!

Had alot of drinks last night .. Went to a pub i thought i will never go..  Feeling abit sick, funny ,

Come to think of it , everyone is busy with their life , struggling here and there, regardless whether its about life , family , or love? Beginning of the year is a good start for everyone !! I doubt so. Few days ago while working, met a stranger .. He is in his 50s , seems experience in everything, he was a ceo from some company ! .. Haven even introduce myself and he began his fortune telling . haha!! Maybe he could tell from my expressions . We began to chit chat for awhile , he mention about my stubbornness, he could tell i was sick and tired of everything ..My palms beginning to turn sweaty!! He mention i came from a single parent's family , i told him thats maybe too common now days , but the main point that he said to me was " thats alot of things you cant let go '', i kept quiet just to let him finish.., but in my heart i was thinking maybe , he said especially my past ex!! Im like wad the h...? My partner was getting impatient while me talking to him , He offered me a job !! I ask if me and my partner can call him for the position ? He lectured me said , "Y MUZ YOU ALWAYS THINK ABOUT OTHERS BEFORE YOURSELF?" Than said he is  asking me and not her !!, its a fate that we met that night , He ask me to consider than give him a call!!  I was quite amazed by him cos i din't even introduced myself and he jolly well said things about me.. To believe or not , i myself not sure !!  Times are bad now, pay are still so stagnant , Prices of things are going up!!  Time to say to good bye to cigarettes .. Hopefully by this year! Got problems loading pics .. will update soon!! Cya!

Happy New Year!!  Haven been blogging since ... Busy the last few weeks !! Finally Bid goodbye to 2008 !!  Awaiting for a new beginning !! Had been drinking alot these days !! Admit im a much happier person now .. Having alot of thoughts , Had came to realized i had take things easily than before !! On new year day, Cant believe that i had a mahjong session that lasts for 15 hours !! itz was crazy!! Was kinda moody last weekend , mistakes that everyone were prone to !! Met up with some of the girls , told them how i feel after wad had happened  .. totally out of my mind , how could i have ........ ...... ?  Suddenly the feeling that i had before during last year came back!! Nightmare !! O pls ! stupid of me to trust people so easily !! Knowing wad will happen next .. Time to get my life back on track !! Yes !! i determined !!.. No more silly thoughts, foolish acts .. I know im strong!! 

StEpHiE ChOw((:

18 dec 83
likes pink & black colour
loves to draw with markers
pink or white roses
Prefer hip hop R&B
Loves to design, spicy food, sashimi , steamboat, mahjong,music,singing,hanging out with friends, movies ,
A fan of Juicy couture, babyphat
Loves Hello kitty! I know itz kiddish but thats me
Hopes to see the invisible , archive the impossible , feels the intangible, kind hearted , ambitious,out going ,love my friends, at times want to be isolated , strong on the outside , upset easily ,naive at times, hates fakers, proud people,hypocrites,malicious people !


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